Years of love and desperation!!

All the characters in this episode are merely factitious  and created out of pure imagination. Any resemblance to living or dead are just a mere coincidence.

Prologue!!

Yes!!!This is the time for Sabari to light the spark!!!

This time,let the protagonist be Sabari. He was once the Macho Man of college, after that not much public attention!!!Where was he???Lot of Questions were asked…Was he in search of his lost love???..No answers came…. everyone remained skeptical..!!

Despite the desperate love story he had in his college days, will Sabari find his new love???If yes, then who would be the lucky young girl???

Years of love and desperation!!

What happened to Sabari??,coming early to campus these days.. not his usual habit though, I thought as I waved my hand towards him. He seemed to be in deep thoughts, not even recognized me waving hand towards him!!!.Sometimes human beings forget all those lousy things happen around them, when they  get deeply engaged  in their thoughts. So I didn’t mind too much!!!..He seemed waiting for someone alone!!

Past 9:30…..The classes began!!...I was there on time. I looked for Sabari, not in class yet!!..Where is he???Is he still in deep thoughts??Never mind!!!.I laid my focus back on the Electrical engineering,as Abhilash Sir  lectured on Transformers!!!Past some 30 mins, Sabari rushed to class, he occupied the last row!!!He was still engrossed in that deep thoughts with a light smile on his face!!!Was Sabari in love???I thought!!Oh No!!Sabari is not that kinda guy!!He never go pestering behind any girls!!..”The Classy Macho Man” I reminded myself. The next break, I went near Sabari,It’s not the Sabari I saw weeks before, U know!! Sabari started painting. Sabari started sketching pictures of heart, roses..etc etc..Hoo Damn…even though his heart looked like abdomen and roses looked like cowdung, there was a changed man!!!Suddenly he stared at me!!. I thought he might scold me, coz I was intruding into his personal space!!! But contrary to his habit, he affectionately nodded my cheek with his right arm and left for the break humming some love songs!!!

Yes!!!..It was confirmed!!!Sabari in love!!! It’s ok!! I thought. Every one falls in love!!!Sabari, one of them!!!..Who would be the girl??I guessed…!!.My mind tottered from Aamina to Zhakiya!!!The girl also in love with Sabari ??..By Sabari’s looks…No way!!!.Then how??.The detective in me started to arouse. With some of my friends, we decided to look on this matter rather seriously than our studies!!Hence we started preparing strategies to pull out the truth from Sabari’s mouth!!!.. We watched Sabari closely for days!!..and finally the catch was our’s!!!..

.On the third day, After the day’s classes, we saw Sabari follow the girl!!.She seemed good. By Sabari’s standard, she was way too far!!She was white in colour, had a black framed spects,which almost covered her round eyes, some rose  pimple marks on both her cheek added to her beauty. She kept her hair short!!.Oh. man she was gorgeous!!...She moved towards a Blue Maruthi 800 car, might be of her parents’..suddenly she turned back and gave Sabari a sweet smile and quickly got into the car. Sabari stood there and  laid a deep breath as the car accelerated past the college gate. Sabari seemed lost in Cloud Nine.

Who was She???...Everyone asked themselves!!!..”Shirpa”..KrishnaGopal said with a yellowish grin, as he was answering for the final Thermal Engineering Viva examination. Though he got failed in one of those so-called viva’s, he never keeps his yellowish grin apart while answering those rocketscience questions.

No more wait!!!!Next day, Sabari was there at college, early morning .We saw him standing alone at college gate , holding a rose flower in hand and the only Ray Ban glass he had on his eyes, waiting for Shirpa to come and accept his proposal. “Why the hell is he wearing his Ray Ban glasses”???..I thought. He  looked like a blind man, holding a flower to get help from someone to cross the National Highway 47.Two people came forward to help him,but atlast they realized their mistake and left.

Then came the Blue Maruti 800,stopped in front of college gate.The door opened and Shirpa was out, waved her parents a bye and entered the campus. She didn’t noticed Sabari,the person to whom she smiled heavily on last day. I would not blame her for her ignorance,nor we…coz..with those f***ing RayBan glasses and having some 4 feet of height, it’s impossible to recognize Sabari even with his gorgeous branded smile. Sabari almost got transfixed because of her ignorance.RayBan glasses in vain.

There came the Twist of the whole story!!.

There was Manoj. One of the glamorous, sturdy, muscular and good-looking guy in the college. He was waiting near the old Recreation Building near to the college gate. Shirpa went towards him. Sabari got anxious, thousands of thoughts exponentially ran through his mind…”Shirpa...Manoj...Shirpa...Manoj…”!!!.Both of them got inside the building and the door was closed. Sabari got nervous. Sometimes it’s better to be nervous, when you are about to get fucked up!!

Sabari went into the Recreation building. Nobody was around. Sabari peeped through the old broken window. A storm of desperation struck Sabari’s face. Manoj with his arm around her waist, pushed her to his muscular body and kissed her. Her lips felt his supremacy and dominance.She tried to resist ,but the vigor of a girl’s body overpowered her willingness to depart..as they both kissed vigorously  with their eyes closed.

 Rose fell down from Sabari’s hands.He took his Ray Ban Glasses away. Tears started to broke down from his eyes. Sabari went back near his motorbike, started and left the college. For one week  Sabari was not there at college. The sign of desperation was still palpable on his face, even when he came back to college next week.

Sabari stopped sketching heart and roses, no more RayBan glasses were in his eyes(The reason why Sabari keeps his RayBan pinned to his shirts). Sabari looked like he had lost his world. He was helpless, unable to vent his anger towards Manoj. We were left sympathized, when we saw Sabari in his incorrigible state.

Nextday  he was in hospital.Some of our friends went to see him!!!.Rumours spread across college..”Suicide Attempt.. Sabari “.???.

Once again there was Krishna Gopal,with his yellowish grin. He told us the reason for Sabari’s hospital admit.After hearing, we were not able to control our laughter. It was Sabari’s first puff of cigarette made the whole chronicle. He took this risk for his lost love, Shirpa

After few days everyone came together. Everyone gave their own words of advice to Sabari. Even Prof.Balachandran, HOD of Mechanical Dept, came to give his word to Sabari. Once again, there was  a changed Sabari,this time not of  love,but of resentment. Sabari decided to beardown and outstar Shirpa in her academics.He took oath to beat her in the final university examination. Oh Man!!Fuck You Sabari.U can’t beat Shirpa!!.Everyone unanimously said!!He never bothered..(Shirpa was a rankholder in her 10^th and 12^th class board exams,and entrance rank in 1000’s..and Sabari..It’s better not to describe his resume so far.).

There was only 3 months left for the final exams.Sabari worked hard. He worked day and night,24x7.Exams came.Sabari looked confident after every exams.

Next Semester started. Everyone forgot stories of suicide and kiss,except the Oath by Sabari. One month got passed. The D day came.Results were out. Expectations everywhere. Everyone was anxious. Everyone looked at Sabari, when he paved his way towards the CCF lab to check his result.A huge crowd waited outside CCF to see Sabari score some 90% in his exams,come out and celebrate his victory over Shirpa and Manoj.

Krishna Gopal was there…also were his Yellowish Grin..”Shirpa scored 85%”.He told with slight sign of desperation.

Everyone hailed at Sabari. Sabari went inside CCF lab. Opened IE.

Sabari entered the URL in IE: http://www.results.keralauniversity.com/. New window asking for Register number popped up.  “06 402 037.” ….” FAILED”  . In fact he got passed only 3 out of 8 papers. He  really got  pissed off!!.

The rest is history. Four years passed. Shirpa remained  topper throughout her college days and Sabari..better not to insult him. The funny side of all these were Shirpa was unaware of Sabari’s love towards her. No one even bothered to tell her about Sabari and his suicide attempt.

Even today, Sabari used to send SMS’s and missed calls to her mobile. She never replies back ,she never messages back. Still Sabari lives with the hope of  his lost love!!. Yes Sabari in search for his lost love.

Being Two Different:

ME: YooHaa!!! Perfect come back I guess!!!..

ANIMUS: for what??..

ME: Oops..no idea infact!!!...

ANIMUS: Well…Where am I??

ME: Oh Boy..In this lousy air-conditioned cubicle, working!!!

ANIMUS: So u r not a student anymore rite??..

ME: yeah…in one way!!!But is that all I want??

ANIMUS: Crap!!!Stop this shit plss….U Dick!!!I’m hearing this holy shit for almost a year now!!!I"m I rite??

ME: Yeah!! Yeah!!! I know…but to whom else I say all these crappy shit???

ANIMUS: Hey Boy(Sarcastically)!!!Where are your friends?? Remember??Once u were proud of ur friend circle!!!

ME: Stop Farting up!!!! I’ll kick ur ass!!

ANIMUS: HaHA!!!u look so funny!!!!

ME: Seriously Man!!!I’m bored!!!Actually not bored, the truth is I’m not interested in here anymore!!

ANIMUS: Ok Ok!!! Calm down!!Don’t be too desperate!!!i’m here for u !!I’m ur best friend rite!!

ME: yes!!!...this is the only thing I like abt u!!!U r my best friend!!!

ANIMUS: OOoo Dear!!! I’m Flattered!!..hey!!not kidding..seriously!!

ME: Fuck!!

ANIMUS: Hey tell me!!Why r u so desperate???Yes..Got It!!!No Girl Friend !!!U cannot escape from this??You are completely entangled in this Girl friend shit!!!Remember..2^st yr at college??..and what about the final year???U almost screwed up everything!!!Seriously man..You seem like joker some times!!!Hahaha!!

ME: Hey…Moron!!! Don’t dig into past!!Listen I’m trying to forget all those Crappy shit I left behind!!U know rite ?..What I did after entrance examination!!!Oooh Boy…I was a uncontrollable!!!That is the only thing in my life I wish wouldn’t had done!!!Everyone knows….but they are keeping as secret not to hurt me any more!!!So U Dickhead..don’t go to the past and dig that groovy old crappy Stuffs!!!

ANIMUS: And What about this GF stuff??

ME: Stop pestering u AssHole!!!U know everything and still u wanted to hear from my mouth??

ANIMUS: Yes!!!Right from the Horse’s Mouth!!

ME: Wow!!From where u got that idiom..i guess??

ANIMUS: It’s from u only boy…Remember some months u spent for CAT..

ME: Oh..Yes!!!Cool stuff..U still remember those vocab,QA,DI??

ANIMUS: Not much!!!But u taught me some!!!

ME: Yes Yaar!!! Everything wearied down…I would like to begin once more!!!Is that possible??This fucking job!!!...it’s becoming a toll on my life!!very hard to see real friendship here(to my perspective..not to hurt anyone)..everyone’s behind the appraisal and rating stuff!!!Hoo…boy!!!It’s lousy atmosphere here..the only good thing is that here we have plenty of oxygen to breathe!!!...I wish to throw up this job and run away from all materialistic stuffs around!!!Seriously I would like to go for a journey!!!Is that the dogma left behind in me acting up to hold on to this job???..No idea!!!

ANIMUS: Get Idea!!

ME: HaHa(ironically)…Joke of the century!!!..The only good thing the entire Bachhan family did!!

ANIMUS: Infact It was a good idea to break the long hiatus in ur blogging space!!Though u haven’t posted more in blogger.com, there needed a break !!!

ME: Thank u animus!!!It was nice talking to u!!!Indeed it gave me something to post on my blogging space!!!

Trust me guys(imaginary context)…I’ll try to post more!!!if not if at all!!!

 A TOTAL FUCKING EXPERIENCE: 

             Actually I don’t know what to write in this edition of my blog..but I’m desperate to do this right away. Thanks to the recent happenings in my life!!! And I owe this to the groovy old “ University Of Kerala”. Frankly speaking ..i’m really fucked up!!! … You may wonder why I use this “ F word “ in this context. Consider as my weakness in English vocabulary..Since I can’t find a much appropriate and an apposite word for the situation, I’m dealing with!!Coz…human beings are sentient creatures and unfortunately I’m a human being. 

                  Emotional, sentimental…I don’t know which of the alphabetic combinations can make an appropriate definition for the craziness that I’m experiencing right now. I’m sure I could sort out the dilemma in a couple of weeks.

 Going back (a fine process of retrospection)….. 

          Well precisely that would be 18th of July 2010. …Call it as “D DAY”, by dictionary definition D DAY is a date on which something important is expected to happen. But for me it was one of the nastiest day in my whole life. Yes the day, the University Of Kerala published their 8th semester b.tech result, it came with much hype… in fact it truly earned a lot of public attention coz of the daily Malayalam newspapers highlighting this particular news. I also owe sincere thanks to BSNL to make my internet connection on fritz that morning, so that I could flee from my home to check my “much expected“result from another source. 
         I eventually checked my results at one of the local internet cafe in my town. And the result was …well…let it be straight…” failed in one “…well I have already experienced this situation before (since I have got backlogs before..) , but this time…I don’t know….how much I felt that morning!!! (It is a rare phenomenon to fail in the last semester). Now coming back…I got failed in “AUTOMOBILE ENGINEERING”. in fact I got 25 out of 100…yes 25 %. 

           Actually I’m not interested in briefing here the whole rigmarole in convincing my parents about the results. They were also disappointed with their son’s scintillating performance at the university examinations. Not only my parents, the result also meant a lot envious neighbors (today also two of them asked me about my performance!!!!). 

           Within a few hours, I came to know that not only me, but majority of the first 26 roll no’s got failed in the same paper. Frankly...There came a relief… hooo….not only me. Apart from the negative aspects of failures, the results once more showcased the solidarity in 06 -10 batch of sct’s mechanical graduates. I only have a few words to say to the eminent personality (still unknown),who demonstrated a great deal of dexterity and proved himself as a virtuoso in valuing the answer papers. “Well Done You Old Moron!!!!”.  

 UNIVERSITY AND LOKAYUKTA EXPERIENCE 

        Well... Then was the time to do something on this matter. So we decided to go by revaluation. Ohh.. We…sorry I forgot to introduce the “we“ term here!!! 

So. We: 

Abhay Krishnan ( this dude..with job in one hand & the Fu**ing results on the other), Amrith, Myself, Aseem, Ashik Suresh( going through some worst experiences.. ), Basil Alias ( even {we}-1 got surprised ), Fahad, Jinu, Janish, Krishna Gopal, Mukesh Mohan, Sanal Kumar, Thejus, …..etc..this list continues. 

        Of this lot , the cases of Abhay & Ashik were the worst. If Abhay have a job in hand, Ashik had already paid his fees for his post graduate course at SRM University. I don’t know what would be on Ashik’s mind. In the university premises I could see his mom and dad desperate to do something supernatural to get rid of his son from this diabolic situation. They even visited pro vice chancellor to express grievances. Like other self centered morons , he also showed much lesser interest in matters like this. 

          After the acts at university, it was our turn at honorable Lokayukta. Well...Frankly speaking...Unlike from other govt. offices, I was able to find some really great and nice people...they were very helpful and had no hang-ups, and were also soft spoken. The process of case filing was a wearisome process at lokayukta, coz it included lots of Xerox copies and a cumbersome of attested and self attested copies. But the timely help from Abhay’s father Radhakrishnan Nair (to the best of my memory), meant a lot for us. He was there with us from the beginning. And after two days of hefty processes and procedures, every job from our side was completed with much satisfaction, and now the rest is with the lokayukta and the Kerala University.  

STAGNATION STATE:

           I first heard this word “STAGNATION” when I was attending a lecture on “GAS DYNAMICS”...at that time I never thought of the influence this word could make it on our future, and going through my experience it had really made a point in its definition. It’s now precisely 1:05 AM. I’m actually a little bit anxious about my future. I don’t know where I’m heading … now totally isolated, spending much of my time in my green walled room, making some irreverent speeches standing in front of mirror, reading some books, listening enya, life has become irregular, some days I go to bed at 7: 30 pm and some other days at 2: 30 am. And today I don’t know when I would???

       So, nothing much to scribble here…….hoping for the best to happen……………..